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Allistairagator

[ website | My Website ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

Antimism [Sep. 5th, 2012|01:52 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |nerdyScientific]

There is a fizzy toxin called Antimism. It only works on bad guys. It can give you a bad tummy ache, but then it goes away...

... Because it makes you disappear!

If you drink ALL the Antimism, you can explode. Some of the Antimism has explosives in it. It doesn't have the electrobolts in it.
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The Baby Brother [Aug. 11th, 2012|02:33 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |confusedUncertain]
[music |Dragonvale soundtrack]

I've been avoiding speaking of it, but apparently I now have a baby brother.

Mom says I have to love him and help take care of him. I am willing to do so, as he seems to have some potential for use as a football or something to throw like that. I can also blame all my farts on him.

So far he just makes squishy noises and drools much. I'm hoping he will start to run around a bit soon, so that mom will be too distracted to pay attention to how much time I am spending playing Dragonvale on the iPad.

He is starting to show a little personality now.
link2 comments|post comment

Poor Stupid Peter [Aug. 11th, 2012|01:53 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |thoughtfulthoughtful]

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, I am told.
But what no one seems to know is that then, when he went home to make a pickle salad,
and he ate the salad, then a werewolf ate him becuase he was pickled.

Makes ya think, huh.
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Ninja Club [Mar. 31st, 2012|02:46 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |mischievoussneaky]

This morning I told mom she could join my Ninja Club. I told her that meant she could be a ninja forever. She seemed happy.
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The Eyeball Death Planet [Mar. 7th, 2012|10:51 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |creativecreative]
[music |Planet Claire]

Check out my new drawing!

This is the ice planet
This is the Eyeball Death planet
This is the Moon
And this is the alien ship with the alien in it
The dots on the Eyeball Death planet are the bad guys
The rest is secret
link2 comments|post comment

Explaining to my mom [Jan. 17th, 2012|09:21 pm]
Allistairagator
[mood |tiredPatient]

It often takes rather detailed explanations before mom gets it. Take this conversation, for example:

Me: "I'm magical."

Mom: ". . ."

Me: "You know, magic isn't here" (point to my head)

Mom: ". . ."

Me: "It's in here..." (point to my heart)

Mom: ". . ."

Me: "Where there's green blob"

Mom: ". . . You have a green blob... in your heart?"

Me: "Yeah, that's what makes the magic"

Mom: ". . ."

Eventually I think she got it. Why is it so hard?
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Something went wrong... [Jan. 2nd, 2012|02:25 pm]
Allistairagator
When the giant tentacle plant monster grew up, it became a scientist and went to live in a secret lab at the zoo. The scientist tried to make a person, but instead there was a mistake, so he made a giant, lava-mouthed, volcano-eating tentacle plant monster that can eat people in one gulp.

Just so you know.
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Baby Redux [Nov. 16th, 2011|12:42 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |curiouscurious]

Apparently Mom has decided that once is not enough and is growing a new baby in her tummy. So far this means a bunch of lectures from both Mom and Dad about how "when the baby comes, Mama won't be able to do as many things for you, and you need to help us take care of it" and stuff.

Whatever.

My take on it is this:

What will this new baby do for me? How long because I can use him or her as furniture? Can I shoot nerf darts at it? Will it understand the importance of explosions?

We wonder.
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Explosive Penguin Bomb. [Sep. 27th, 2011|01:03 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |workingIntent]
[music |KMFDM]

This is my explosive penguin bomb. It has a hundred and thousand point two TNT in it. When it explodes and he flips open, then the one where it knocked over people opens, and two missiles come out, and they shoot again and again and again and again, until they run out, and then they explode again.
link2 comments|post comment

Ham Burglar [Aug. 22nd, 2011|11:35 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Bed]
[mood |boredBlasé]
[music |Pink Floyd]

Dad is reading some book to me. It is long and it is called "The Hobbit". The guy in it is named Bilbo Baggins and he is a burglar. A burglar is a person who cooks burgers and puts them out for people who need them. I had to tell dad that, because he seemed surprised.
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It is time to sing [Jul. 11th, 2011|12:05 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Some dumb school]
[mood |awakeVocal]
[music |Yes!]

I want you to hear me now:

Sunshine!

Mom helped.
link1 comment|post comment

Danger King [May. 25th, 2011|11:45 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]

I'm the king of all danger. That's why I have a snake sword, and an extra gun.
link2 comments|post comment

Mouse Hunting [May. 3rd, 2011|02:52 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]

Mom is taking me to Disneyland again!

She asked me to pick two things I for-sure wanted to do there.

DUH!!

I told her:

1. Buy A Gun
2. See Mickey Mouse

Now she's acting weird. Sheesh.
link1 comment|post comment

Goo [Mar. 19th, 2011|08:56 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |thoughtfulWary]

Sometimes the Goo Monsters splash goo on holidays to ruin them, because they don't like fun. Only goo-fun is what they like. Their cakes say "Goo-Happy Birthday" on them. On holidays they get more powerful, because they need to power to destroy the holidays.
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My big green UPS truck [Mar. 17th, 2011|08:45 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |TMBG]

When I grow up will be a UPS delivery man. I will drive a big green truck that says 'UPS' on it. I will drive it fast but I will have to be careful. For my first delivery I will deliver a fragile army airplane to daddy. I will deliver fabric to mama, and kitty food to our kitties.
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Self-Portrait [Mar. 3rd, 2011|08:48 pm]
Allistairagator
This is me. I look EXACTLY like this. Yes. And I drew it.
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Giant Human System [Feb. 12th, 2011|09:27 pm]
Allistairagator
The giant human system was there. He was allergic to cold water because systems are burned up by cold water.

Just sharing.
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Game design theory [Jan. 12th, 2011|10:32 pm]
Allistairagator
[mood |amusedEureka!]

I've been playing video games, so now I totally understand them. I shall explain:

First you have to watch a movie of the game.
First comes the gun level.
Then you have to defeat all the bad guys in the gun level until you get to the other level.
It's called the Light-Saber level, but it works for guns too.
Then you have to defeat all the bad guys in the Lightsaber level and the you get to the other level and it's called a magnet-fight level.
The levels in this game works for pirate guns and weapons.
Well then there's a big giant robot boss in it that you have to defeat, but he's pretty scary and big. And he has a very small gun because he has small hands. And then he drops it. When he drops it, people pick his gun up.
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Butterflies, pirates, and a pig-free ship. [Dec. 13th, 2010|08:56 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |My room, where anything is real]
[mood |Piratey]

The Butterflies had their first party. It was the party of when they were born! The pirates were invited. They were not butterfly-pirates, they were pirate-butterflies.

There are no pigs on our pirate ship! I grabbed them, and I squeezed them and I throwed them off the ship. We have a pig-free ship now.

Before the pigs were gone, we took the bacon. I cooked it with my light saber.

Our ship is made out of Legos. It is a spaceship.

Aaarrrrg.
link2 comments|post comment

Burning Man! [Sep. 9th, 2010|10:51 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Black Rock City]
[mood |giddygiddy]
[music |Horrible all-night rave]

OMG OMG OMG

I went to Burning Man.

I was alternately miserable and hysterically elated.

First: VEHICLES! My dad let me DRIVE that one!! I couldn't reach the gas pedal, so he had to do that, but I was able to steer and it was awesome.

Second: GIANT WALKING ROBOT THING!! I didn't know things like this actually existed outside of Jak And Daxter... This is the first thing about which I am willing to say that it was worth coming out of the womb for.

Finally: GIANT FLAME-THROWER VEHICLE!! My parents are apparently (get it?) pretty cool.

Next year I will fight in the dome instead of getting upset and crying when they brought me inside.
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The Evil Scientist Lavatory Train [Jul. 31st, 2010|09:11 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|, , , , , ]
[Current Location |The Floor Of My Room]
[mood |crazydelirious]
[music |DEVO]

I just told my dad all this, and now I'm posting it here, so that you can know too!

The evil scientist taked his mom. He taked her to his evil scientist lavatory. Now here is his evil scientist lavatory train. He zapped Maybelle (the cable car) and then he was on this train, and then the other evil scientist lavatory train chased him.

He zapped his mom. The train's mom.

Just so you know.
link3 comments|post comment

(no subject) [May. 22nd, 2010|03:25 pm]
Allistairagator
You should never play with a knife on your butt.
link2 comments|post comment

All the Salt in the Ocean [Apr. 20th, 2010|11:05 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Day-care]
[mood |sillysilly]
[music |None]

OMG! I just learned the coolest thing! Dad told me why the ocean is salty... not sure why mom was making that face about it though. Anyway, he said that HE PUT THE SALT IN THERE! Apparently he wanted to make soup. To that I give my new favorite phrase: "THAT'S SILLY!"
link2 comments|post comment

Some guy on the phone [Mar. 2nd, 2010|10:45 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Livingroom]
[mood |boredneutral]
[music |9 soundtrack]

Mom was talking to some guy on the phone tonight, so I thought I should probably check him out and say 'hi'. Mom said his name was Neil Gay Man, but he didn't sound very happy to me...
link2 comments|post comment

SNOW! [Feb. 18th, 2010|11:27 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |South Lake Tahoe]
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |Classic 70's rock]

Oh man...

We went to play in the snow mountains!!1!

At first I was a little suspicious. We drove for more than FIVE HOURS. For some reason, asking "Is this it?" every 37 seconds didn't speed up the trip as I expected it would. That's a mystery. Then, we get there, and there is almost NO SNOW ANYWHERE. Still, I was pleased to find this bit of snow in which to romp on our arrival. Good thing I'm easily-pleased.

But then, we have to go to some crummy restaurant and eat lame food and get bored. THEN I HAD TO GO TO BED!!

The next day got better. See? Stupendous snowiness. I went sledding, sank into the snow, made a snowman, destroyed said snowman, threw snow at mom, got yelled at for throwing snow at mom, threw snow at mom, aimed slightly lower, and made footprints!
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In trouble again [Jan. 5th, 2010|02:18 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |My room]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[music |Harold and the Purple Crayon]

Jeez...

They can put all kinds of nonsense on the tree... Tinsel, garlands, electric lights and what-not...

I try to put on just a LITTLE BIT of beautiful shiny white milk... And dad FREAKS out and cleans it all up.

I am beginning to suspect that there are multiple SETS of standards of behavior applying here...
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The Great Christmas Swindle!!1! [Jan. 4th, 2010|11:37 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |On the floor, crying]
[mood |depressedDevastated]
[music |Theme Song to Mulan]

So! It was all a LIE!!

They build this amazing "Christmas Tree", but then, once all the relatives have gone... THEY THREATEN TO TEAR IT DOWN!!1!

I had to cry for a long time to spare its life, and even then, I only obtained a one-day stay of execution.

Their treachery runs deeper than you know...
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Ambivalence [Dec. 26th, 2009|09:42 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Information Society Live in Philadelphia]

The house is full of people, mostly relatives. They are all getting in the way of important things, such as:

- Playing with mom
- Talking with mom
- Mom doing things for me
- Seeing dad around, I guess
- Watching videos
- Going to the playground
- And many more things

On the positive side, they're all giving me presents.

Here are some pictures I have taken of them lest you disbelieve my amazing tale:
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The imagery! It spews forth! [Dec. 21st, 2009|12:53 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Obaachan's]
[mood |awakeAWESOME]


I...


CAN'T...


STOP...


TAKING...


PICTURES!!1!

link2 comments|post comment

Sig Lines [Dec. 5th, 2009|01:11 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Livingroom]
[mood |pleasedProud]
[music |Theme to Max And Ruby]

I say awesome things! Check out these three pithy pronouncements, uttered just recently!


"I CAN'T LIKE ANYTHING!!"

"I CAN'T STOP YELLING!!"

"I CAN'T BE STOPPED!!"


I am a veritable fountain of id and will!
link1 comment|post comment

Quantity Care [Nov. 24th, 2009|10:53 am]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |My room]
[mood |cynicalbothered]
[music |They Might Be Giants]

To whom it may concern:

Dad is home EVERY DAY now, like, "taking care" of me. He's making it weird. I mean, Dad's cool and all, but... enough-Z-enough. Can someone please make him go back to work now? ktnx
link1 comment|post comment

On the fragility of "animals" [Oct. 28th, 2009|10:46 am]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Livingroom]
[mood |aggravatedExasperated]
[music |Theme to Miss Spider]

We have a hamster!

The damn thing is nigh-impossible to not break. All I did was wait for mom to leave the cage somewhere I could get it, wait for dad to not pay enough attention to me, and voila! I was in. I took the thing out of its cage for some very entry-level playtime, and within one minute, it's bleeding. I took it to dad and explained how he spun around and around in the air, and now had red stuff on its face.

Dad FREAKED. Sheesh. You'd think I had broken a dish or something. We spent the next TWO HOURS talking about and dealing with the Hamster. We had to drive somewhere and some lady got to hold and play with him, even though *I* am not allowed to touch him anymore. (OW! I SPRAINED MY EYES FROM ROLLING THEM!!1!)

Apparently, it's not ok to hurt animals. WHO KNEW?? They're also ridiculously fragile. Even my least sturdy toys can hold up better than this little fur-ball.

Thing_e also seems to have issues: I was playing with her the other day and WHAM! Claw on hand!

Perhaps animals are more trouble than they're worth?
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My career begins [Oct. 10th, 2009|09:55 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |floor of room]
[mood |Proud]
[music |Mozart (Mom thinks it's good for me)]

Well, I've decided what I'm going to do with my life. (Besides playing with toys, that is)

PHOTOGRAPHY!!1!

I'm beginning to realize that apparently, I am totally awesome!
link3 comments|post comment

Big Kids [Sep. 30th, 2009|04:37 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Playground]
[mood |frustratedexasperated]
[music |Dad laughing]

Actual conversation I had three days ago:

Me: Hi!

Me: Hi!

Me: Hi!

Bigger Kid: Yeah, you said that.

Sheesh.
link4 comments|post comment

Ambrosia [Aug. 2nd, 2009|01:17 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Livingroom]
[mood |satisfiedsatisfied]
[music |Bee Movie soundtrack]

Well, it took 1158 days, but I finally found it... VEGEMITE!! Where has this food BEEN all my life??

The best part is that you can just eat it out of the jar! Mom says it's from "Ostralya", but I happen to know that she is wrong. It's actually from the grocery store.

As you can see here, my boundless enthusiasm for this condensed yeast extract sometimes leads me to forget my table manners...

This is WAAAY better than eating that gray stuff under the sink when mom's not looking...
link2 comments|post comment

On the oral tradition [Jun. 29th, 2009|02:40 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Russian Mafia Daycare]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |B-I-N-G-O]

So...

Dad is still WAAY ahead on the who-is-stupider competition with Mom. Among other nonsense, he frequently just starts giggling like an idiot man-child when I answer the most BASIC of questions. To wit:

Dad: Allistair, did you see cousin Noah today?
Me: Yah
Dad: What did he say?
Me: He say... about his balls.
Dad: [endless giggling and stupid behavior]

In other news, GAMMA-K is here! I know that sounds like either a super-hero or a super-villain, but she's actually my grandmother, apparently. She's very easy to out-run.
link1 comment|post comment

Nothing but limitations! [Jun. 25th, 2009|04:55 pm]
Allistairagator
[mood |determinedDetermined]

Pff... Five miles per hour... Pff...

I can go at least seven.
link3 comments|post comment

The downward spiral [Mar. 24th, 2009|10:38 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Russian Mafia Daycare]
[mood |anxiousdistrustful]
[music |THE MAZURKA! THE MAZURKA!]

I have perceived another pattern of decreasing desireability: My caretakers!

At first it was mostly mom, and a little bit of dad, with the very occasional dash of grandparents.

Then "day care" was introduced. The first step downward! The thin end of the wedge! The canary in the coal mine! The proverbial snowball in July! ... Well, that last one doesn't really apply, but still. Yeah.

Yesterday we reached what I could only hope is the BOTTOM when THIS CHICK picked me up. I mean, come ON. What's next? Phyllis Diller?

She was actually pretty nice though. For a non-mom person.
link4 comments|post comment

Fashion Design! [Mar. 23rd, 2009|10:21 am]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |pleasedpleased]
[music |Happy Feet]

OMG I have discovered the best thing ever! Fashion design!! All it takes is a scissors! Yesterday I crafted a stunning ventilation effect to my shirt. The roughly one-half-inch cuts (or "louvres", as I call them) add not only a hyper-oxygenating effect on my tummy, but also suggest a subtle amalgam of post-societal-breakdown casualness with the essential hint of survivalism.

Try it! All it takes is a scissors! (tm)
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Lapin slappin [Mar. 13th, 2009|11:23 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |happyTotally fun]
[music |Peter Gabriel - Security]

This talking thing is pretty useful. You don't even really have to do it right! Tonight, while I was running around naked like a rabbit, my dad said "I see a bunny-boy!". (I know, right?) I was able to correct him without having to worry about saying it exactly right by just saying "Stop it. I a baby"
link4 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Feb. 3rd, 2009|04:20 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Russian Mafia Daycare]
[mood |distressedFreaked Out]
[music |none]

There's a new movie I watch called "Cars". It's enjoyable, although not as enjoyable as Wall-E. Anyway, there is a HUGE TRAIN in the movie which ALMOST HITS THE PROTAGONIST! (er, protagonist car) This is extremely upsetting to me!

How it is that everyone can watch all those horrible things happening without getting upset is beyond me to understand.
link5 comments|post comment

Priorities [Jan. 8th, 2009|07:11 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Dinner table, eatin' ur fudz]
[mood |aggravatedDisgusted]
[music |Carl Stalling]

Ok, I need to check my perceptions here. Help me out. Let's take a survey:

Which of the following two things is more important:

WALL-E

STAR TREK, THE ORIGINAL SERIES

I know, right?!?! Mom and Dad keep (get this) they keep (no, really, you won't believe this...) ok, they TURN OFF WALL-E... (I know!) in order to watch Star Trek:TOS instead! It was bad enough when they were turning off Dumbo for Star Trek: Enterprise, but THIS!

Another sign that this world is but a trial.
link5 comments|post comment

Presents: Threat or Menace? [Dec. 25th, 2008|07:04 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Gramma Sheila's]
[mood |pleasedpleased]
[music |None]

Ok, there's this thing called "Presents". I'm trying to get my head around it... let me try to explain:

Everyone is putting things in boxes, wrapping them in silly paper and giving them to me... Then I rip open the paper, make someone open the box for me, and I get to keep what's inside, even if it's just socks! Pretty sweet, huh!

I like this new development. I've been averaging a few presents a day, so I figure I'll get at least one every day of my life from now on!

Maybe things are looking up!

.
.
.

ADDENDUM: No, things are NOT looking up, and after getting me used to presents, now there are none. NONE!
link4 comments|post comment

Fire! [Dec. 17th, 2008|03:00 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |boredUnimpressed]
[music |'TEAM ENGINE!]

Last night dad built a "fire" in the livingroom. Both he and mom spoke as though it was going to be this great wonderful thing, but...

1. Smoke in eyes: Do not want

2. They wouldn't let me touch ANY of it! Not even the glowy parts.

3. It was too hot.

4. The whole house smelled of smoke for hours afterwards. WTF?

5. There was a fine rain of ash in the livingroom all evening, and now there is a fine layer of ash all over everything.

Gee, I "can't" "wait" until the next "fire".
link6 comments|post comment

This 's what I'm talkin' bout [Nov. 11th, 2008|10:51 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Fire Station]
[mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[music |Sirens!]

Ok, I think people are FINALLY starting to get the right idea. CHECK THIS OUT! OMG THEY'RE FINALLY LETTING ME DRIVE THE FIRE TRUCKS!!1! I mean... LOOK! I'M TOTALLY JUST DRIVING THE FIRE TRUCK!!1!

It was cool. Some weird lady is baby-sitting me now after day care. We call her "Pam". That's probably short for "Pamida", I figure.

Anyway, fire trucks.
link6 comments|post comment

Lame [Nov. 2nd, 2008|06:48 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |On the step-ladder]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |none]

Why does everyone think it's so hysterically-damned funny when I climb up on the ladder and say "I'm high, I'm high!" What the hey?

People are dumb.
link1 comment|post comment

FIRE TRUCK!!1! [Oct. 10th, 2008|11:32 pm]
Allistairagator
[Tags|]
[Current Location |Floor]
[mood |ecstaticecstatic]
[music |FIRE TRUCK!!1!]


FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1! FIRE TRUCK!!1!
link5 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Sep. 4th, 2008|01:52 pm]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Day care]
[mood |pessimisticSkeptical]
[music |none]

Dad is gone a lot. Days at a time. What a doofus.
link2 comments|post comment

Yes, I can haz the knowing [Sep. 3rd, 2008|11:53 am]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Day care]
[mood |accomplishedsmug]
[music |none]

To answer all your lame questions, YES... I CAN write my own posts complete with HTML tags and stuff.

I'm just that good.
link5 comments|post comment

The givers of Pain and Delight [Jul. 31st, 2008|10:48 am]
Allistairagator
[Current Location |Day care]
[mood |crushedTraumatized]
[music |none]

There is a place called the Zoo. It is designed to traumatize me.

So we went to the zoo. Not the normal zoo, some other zoo far away in "Oakland" or something. For a while, it was great. I saw a real live elephant for the first time, and I guess I did get to ride on one car for like, A MINUTE... But what about ALL THE OTHER RIDES?!?!?1!?

There were these awesome sweet big cars that kids could drive, and after showing them to me for a few minutes, Dad decides I CAN'T ride them! WTF!?!? Something about not being accompanied by a parent or some such nonsense. They tried to take me on a stupid carousel instead. Don't they know that carousels are for BABIES!?! I mean, babies younger than me.

Also, every time we just get started riding around on something, I HAVE TO GET OFF! We get on the train, and 4 minutes later, OFF! ALL DONE! BABY ALL DONE! I get on the littler, lamer cars, and after 4 minutes, OFF! ALL DONE! BABY ALL DONE! It's ridiculous, and I think they're doing it to torture me. I cried a more concentrated burst of pure crying-power during that fiasco than at any other time since Mom took away the broken glass I wanted to eat.

Feh.
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